Meeting the milestones

So this week I hit a couple of milestone and I thought that warranted an update post on my personal development rather than a post from a location (to follow shortly) - this was of course the reason for the career break in the first place!

The first milestone was on 28th February when I reached the half way point of my career break. I remember my colleague Christine at work saying that the year would be over before I knew it and sadly I think she's spot on! Six months gone, but that also means I still have another six to go. When I think of the places I've been to, the experiences I've had and most importantly the people I've met, this trip has exceeded all my expectations. It's not been easy, as close friends and family will attest to, they've been so supportive and I couldn't have done it without them, but it really has been worth it and one thing that has developed is my resilience, that's for sure!

The other one is being a third of the way through my Latin American Adventure. I will confess that I really didn't want to get on the plane out here. I'd had a really nice time with family and friends in the UK over Christmas and I just didn't want to head off and leave them all again. But I did think that the feeling of failure if I didn't would be greater than the relief at not saying bye to everyone and so I bit the bullet and got on the plane to Buenos Aires. At times (although they have been very few and far between) I may have wished I hadn't but the overwhelming feeling is of relief that I did! You've seen the photos - just think what I could have missed!

And so I've gone back to my post in September where I set out some of my goals for the year to see where I'm at with them.

I want to get my self-confidence back, fully back, so that I stop second-guessing myself all the time and start truly believing that I'm doing pretty damn well in life.

In some ways I'm doing quite well with this one but in others not so much. I still am not confident enough to do everything I want to on my own but then sometimes, I get over this by just forcing myself to do stuff. Other times, I imagine I'm with a friend and sometimes I just don't do things. But, what I am better at is being nicer to myself when I don't do stuff which I've been very bad at for a long time now. Like most, I'm my own worse critic. I just need to progress now to being supportive of myself and not just not being mean!

I want to be proud of myself and my achievements, to stop comparing myself to others and always feel I come off worse.
When you think about it, what I'm doing is amazing. I know my job is about finding things out and identifying solutions but I do that in my own language. For five of the last six months I've been doing this often in a foreign language. I've now been to 38 countries and I say this not to brag, but as something for me to be proud of. Had my life turned out how I thought it would when I was a 20 year old, I wouldn't have made half that number. I was always a home body and saw my life with a husband, kids, house etc. It didn't turn out that way, but when I think of all I've achieved, this trip included I've had some extraordinary experiences, done amazing things and met incredible people. Things I'd never have done if I had followed the original path, which isn't to say that what I've done is better, it's just that it's not worse and  does stand up to comparisons. 

I want to become more spontaneous and stop planning the life out of everything.

So for this I've made progress in leaps and bounds. Possibly to my detriment!! I'm definitely doing better at being more spontaneous. Kira told me about a club in London called the Yes Tribe and it's basically what it says! You have to say yes to things. Whilst I don't think I'm quite at that level, I am doing more things on the spur of the moment. This trip (rather than the Eastern Europe one) is a classic example. I have one thing booked between now and when I fly home, a ferry between Puerto Montt and Puerto Natales. Amelia and Haden told me about it and it sounded amazing and the only reason I booked it is because they only leave once per week and I didn't want to risk missing it. Other than that, I have an idea of the next place I'm going to, but I book the hostel the day before and unless there are only limited departures, buy my bus ticket just prior to travelling (no advance discounts here, often just last minute ones!) and if I'm liking somewhere, I book an extra night. I had originally thought I'd only do a couple of weeks in Chile but by the time I head back to Argentina proper, it's probably going to be closer to six weeks, which wasn't what I expected but I've just gone with what felt right. This has been quite liberating. And if I miss something, I miss something, but likely get to experience something else entirely different but probably just as great!

I want to be someone who does things differently to the way society expects you to and really feel that that's OK.

So on this trip I've met so many more 'older' people than I did on my previous one and many of them feel the same way I do about this and that there were expectations of them, be they familial or societal that they've not 'met' (I like to think if we've not met them, it's because we've exceeded rather than missed them) I don't know whether it's because I feel somehow validated now by meeting people who feel the same way as me or not but whatever it is, I really am beginning to think that my path in life is just as good and as valid as the more 'traditional' route. Neither is right or wrong, better or worse, they're just different but of equal worth. 

I want to learn to be silly again (I feel my list of challenges from Shalini, Kate, Amanda and Andrew will help with this - they know what they are and that's enough to be said about that!).

So this is one I'm probably the furthest behind in! But you know, there's still six months to go!!

As for the ones I didn't tell you about, well just to say, I'm getting there on those too!