The new goals post

1^st September 2018. Officially the start of my return to work. I had originally been feeling quite happy with the luck that made this day a Saturday and so I didn’t actually have to go back into work until the 3^rd September. However, as you’ll know if you read my post yesterday, I’ve managed to get vertigo and so although I’m actually due back at work on Monday, it’s not looking likely at this point. I know that for some, their first reaction will be to think I’m faking it to delay my return, although maybe I’m being unfair and judging people by what I would be thinking! But sadly I know different, plus I’m a believer in karma so faking ill health is one of the last things I’d do! After this last year, putting work before my health is something else I’m no longer prepared to do and this feeds into the goals that I’m setting for myself for how I want to live now that my career break is over and responsibilities are creeping back into my life. So, if you hadn’t guessed, this post is going to be my future life goals. I’ve decided to limit it to the top three, which isn’t to say there aren’t more but these goals are really important to me, which is why I wanted to share them with you.

1. To maintain my life-work balance

I’m a scientist, I used to be an active scientist doing research and I now think of myself as a dormant scientist! The standard for just about every scientist I know is to work really long hours. Actually, that’s not just scientists; it’s pretty much every academic I’ve ever known. It’s a habit I have managed to shake for short periods in my life but never for extended periods of time. I managed it when I worked at Royal Holloway the first year I was there as a Teaching Administrator but that went out the window when I became a Departmental Administrator. Similarly, I started well at the Institute of Neurology but before long I was working ten-hour days. When I started as a Partnerships and Projects Coordinator (the role I will be returning to) I had the best life-work balance. I used to work the hours I was paid to work, I got all my work done and I had a really good social life too. Then I took on the acting up job and out went the 36.5 hour week and in came the 60-80 hour week. Of course, I wasn’t paid for any more than 36.5 hours and I also stopped being able to meet up with my friends and I really feel like I lost something precious in that year that I can never get back. The Sunday before Christmas during that year, I got rushed to hospital in an ambulance with what turned out to be Bell’s Palsy but which of course had to be treated as a suspected stroke as I had lost all muscle tone in one side of my face. Did I take time off? No, I was back in work the next day taking minutes at two meetings. I even persuaded the doctor in the hospital that they had to give me a prescription for two days of steroids rather than the usual one as I wouldn’t be able to get to my GP the next day for the remainder of the tablets I needed as I had to be in work. I repeat: suspected stroke. And so now I have vertigo and I’m due back at work in two days. As I said, I know some will be thinking that I’m making it up to get a few extra days off but I know that there is no way I’m putting my work above my health again. That’s why we have a sickness leave policy and whilst there is no way I’d choose to not be returning due to ill health, there’s no way that fear of what people could be thinking is making me go back before I’m well enough to!

I’m also determined to stick to my hours as well. That’s not to say I’m going to be rigid about them. Of course I’ll be flexible; that’s one of the great things about the office that I work in, we can be flexible in both directions. It goes without saying that if I have an early or late meeting I’ll go to it but it will be within the overall framework of my hours. I work funny hours when I get back: 8.45am-1.00pm then 1.45pm – 5.37pm to accommodate the nine-day fortnight. But that still gives me all the time I need to do my job and also have the opportunity to retain my social life; to go to the theatre and to wine tastings and meet up with friends. And I’m determined that these precious activities will not be sacrificed to the Work God.

2. To truly make use of my day off

A nine-day fortnight! How exciting is that?! Every other week I get to have a day off. The day will vary according to my work commitments but I have such big ideas for what I want to do with it and I am absolutely determined that I am not going to squander it by just lazing around at home. I have a range of possibilities lined up. Firstly there is a charity called the Wimbledon Guild and they have lots of volunteering opportunities for things such as a working in a community garden or helping with meals for elderly people etc. which I plan to go and find out more about. I’d love to volunteer on the canals and so I’ll be approaching the Canal and River Trust for opportunities with them. I’m in the Wine, Dine and Travel Meetup group and through this I’ve discovered other meetup groups I like the look of such the London Midweek Walking Meetup group so it would be good to do a walk in part of London I don’t know occasionally. I loved doing free walking tours when I was away and London has so many that you can do so I’ll be going on some of those and all these possibilities are before I even start to think about spending more time on my hobbies!! These will be my new explorations so if you subscribe to this blog, don’t be surprised if you end up hearing about them too as I think that I should never stop exploring and so maybe I should continue to blog about it (you can unsubscribe, don’t worry!).

3. To not lose sight of what I’ve learnt this year

As you may have read in yesterday’s blog post this year has been such a big learning experience for me. As well as the most exciting opportunities, there have been times of deep sadness at the deaths of some people who were very dear to me. I’ve changed my outlook on how I see things and I hope I’ve started on the path of treating people differently and better, be it either to them directly or how I think about them. Each one of us is the result of our experiences but we are more than that, we can turn bad experiences into positives and who we are and what we become is always going to be more than the sum of the individual parts of our lives. The experience of bullying in school made me incredibly self-sufficient, but it also helped me to justify shutting people out in the way that the bullies had done to me. This year I’ve started to overcome that and the awareness of how to expand on this leaves me hopeful for the future and how I can continue to grow and change. The last thing that I want is to do is lose this self-awareness and so I think of the three goals I’ve spoken about this is really my most important one. 

My niece received her yearbook from school recently and there was a quote in it that I really liked – you know me I love a good quote! As I was looking it up, I found a number of variations of it but this is the version that I really liked the most: 

‘Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail’

I hope that in the last year I’ve done this; thank you for coming on this journey with me! I wish you all the opportunity for discovery in your own lives, in whichever form that may take, so that you may also leave a trail.