Life's lessons
Today marks the start of the last month of my career break. In May 2017 I remember chatting to a colleague and she said that my year off would be over before I knew it, and whilst I balked at it, I also knew that she had a point; one that today, with only 31 days to go until I'm officially back at work, seems all too real! Today also marks the 11th anniversary of the start of my Round The World trip. I wrote a blog for that trip too and sometimes return to it and reminisce about that wonderful time that I had. I find that travelling alone teaches you a lot about yourself and about life in general and so throughout this trip I tried to remain conscious of the lessons I was learning and I wanted to share them with you.
Don't be dismissive of young people. Their exuberance and lack of prejudice is refreshing and we can learn a lot from them.
This I learnt from day one in South America. I was old enough to be the mother of many people I met on this trip and in Buenos Aires never was this more true than with Seb and Robert who were 19 and 20 at the time. One night the three of us plus Brian and Grainne went out and we joked how it was like the children, parents and grandparents (I'll save you the math, yes I could have been their grandmother!). Both Seb and Robert were so interesting to talk to, really articulate, fun and kind people and whilst of course, I'm sure they could have been with people more their own age, they were inclusive and didn't avoid mixing with people of all ages. Although this also can't be said of all young people I met, it was by far the overwhelming reaction and opened my eyes for sure.
Truly resilient people really do smile in the face of adversity. It may take a little while but they will genuinely make the best of the situation they find themselves in.
I was very fortunate that my trip pretty much panned out as I'd hoped for. In both Eastern Europe and South America I had a rough route which got changed as and when I felt like it and not because of someone else, nothing went dramatically wrong, I wasn't a victim of crime etc. etc. and yet I did meet people who weren't so fortunate. Virtually all of them had a moment of 'why me?' after it happened and yet all of them picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and went on to either make the best of the situation they now found themselves in or a way to improve what had become their lot. It was truly inspiring. For myself, following the multiple hits of bad news, for a while I felt like I'd been the opposite of resilient by bringing my flight home forward by just under a couple of weeks, but ultimately I changed the situation I was in into one that suited me better and made sure that the remaining time I had away I lived to the full. I don't regret coming home early for a second and had an amazing time from the point I changed my flight to the moment I landed on UK soil and so I'm claiming resilience for myself too!
Sometimes it's ok to just say 'I've had enough' and give in for a while, providing it has a time limit.
This is linked in a way to the previous one as keeping going can be exhausting! In hostels it's a common joke that there are the standard travelling questions that you always have to ask (Where are you from? How long is your trip? Where were you before here? Where do you go after here? etc. etc. you get the idea) and it can become quite tiring. Of course, it's also a great basic conversation starter than can actually lead you off into discussions you'd never expect. Similarly, packing up your stuff every few days and figuring out yet another different bus system can sometimes stop being fun and exciting and become a chore. And so when it feels like this, it is OK to crawl into your shell and avoid conversation, or stay for an extra few days somewhere to recharge your batteries. Just make sure you give yourself an internal deadline because if you're like me, it can be easy to stay in your shell and that's not why you're there.
Think of the impact you could be having on others before you complain about their impact on you.
Regular noises irritate the hell out of me, you know, like dripping taps, people tapping their fingers etc. etc. I'm terrible for getting on at my Dad who regularly rattles his change in his pocket! Major irritation for me. But whilst I was in Romania I learnt a very pertinent lesson. I'd been getting frustrated with a guy who was also messing around with coins on the table that I'd been sitting at and had forced myself to stay there and try to overcome this reaction that I have in this type of situation. As I was having this internal dialogue in my head both getting annoyed and calming myself down, the guy sat next to me asked me if I needed a tissue. Whilst I'd been focused on how irritating someone had been to me, I hadn't realised I'd been sniffing and annoying someone else. That one definitely pulled me up short!
Whilst solitude has its place, experiences are often improved by sharing them with other people.
On my trip around the world I met many amazing people who I would have meals with in the hostel, go for drinks with etc. but on the whole, during the day, I would do my exploring on my own (this doesn't of course apply to the organised tours I did through Africa etc.). I loved it, it was great to have experiences to share in conversation in the evenings but I really did enjoy having the days to myself. That has been completely different for these last few months. I've spent much more time with people. doing hikes, going for walks, visiting museums, etc. and not just spending evenings with people. Spending time with people and getting to know them has really been the highlight of the trip and I remember places now for the people I shared them with rather than what I saw when I was there.
I may not be as much of a city girl as I thought I was.
I grew up in a village that is surround by fields but since I was 18 I've pretty much only lived in cities. I have nice shoes, and it's often a source of amusement when visiting friends that I never own the right gear for the outdoor activities that they plan. I love the hustle ad bustle and opportunities that city life has to offer, but that has really changed on this trip. I enjoyed being in the outdoors so much and when I went to cities, I soon found myself yearning to be back in nature. It was a surprise. So now with my return to London in a few short weeks, I've found myself a flat near a nature reserve and park. It's the best I could do and puts me on a direct tube line to a station that can whisk me away to the countryside!! Hopefully I'll now be able to have the best of both worlds!
Whilst it undoubtedly helps, sharing a common language is not necessary to have a meaningful connection with another person.
My Spanish really didn't get to be great whilst I was away and as from Ushuaia onwards the number of English speaking travellers really did decline, I found it was still possible to make meaningful connections with people despite the lack of conversation. I pushed myself to speak as much as I could with my limited Spanish and it was in Puerto Madryn, where I met Fernanda and we became friends despite not being able to have the most in-depth conversations this was most obvious. Whilst we'd have no doubt learnt far more about each other had we been able to chat, the fact that we couldn't didn't diminish the mutual fondness we developed as we spent time together sharing meals and going together to Peninsula Valdes.
Say yes. Even when you want to say no, say yes. Embrace the possibilities.
This is one that I didn't always manage. Sometimes, be it because of lack of confidence or fear, I said no, when I should have said yes. Who knows what I missed out on as a result. I don't regret it, but I do sometimes wonder what could have been given a little more courage and based on what I experienced when I did say yes.
My body is amazing.
People are so often criticised (be it by themselves or others) for what their bodies look like and so rarely praised for what their bodies achieve. Since I turned 40, I've had bouts of considerable ill health and yet for 8 of the last 11 months, my body has regularly carried two rucksacks, one 16-18kgs on its back and the other 6-7kgs on its front, it's done long walks sometimes through steep and rugged terrain, it's slept on often terrible mattresses and then gone on the next day to be pushed to sit on buses for long stretches. Thank you body. In future, I will try to stop being critical of your appearance (which is down to me to change) and try to be thankful for all that you allow me to do.
You'll never see it all. Experience what you can and if you see others did different things, enjoy their pictures and add the places to the list for next time you're there (even though you may never go again!) rather than feel sad you missed them yourself
My aim for this trip had been to move slowly and really experience all that the countries I was visiting had to offer. However, as I chatted with people and saw their pictures and it became difficult for me to stick with this intention. I really wanted to add Bolivia into my explorations after seeing the remarkable pictures people posted from there but I could never have done it justice. At times, it took real strength of will to make myself enjoy the places I was in and stop wishing to be somewhere else. I'm so glad that I did this though. Whenever you travel, the list of places to see always grows from hearing of others' adventures and hopefully there will be time for me to see many of them in the future.
Don't be dismissive of young people. Their exuberance and lack of prejudice is refreshing and we can learn a lot from them.
This I learnt from day one in South America. I was old enough to be the mother of many people I met on this trip and in Buenos Aires never was this more true than with Seb and Robert who were 19 and 20 at the time. One night the three of us plus Brian and Grainne went out and we joked how it was like the children, parents and grandparents (I'll save you the math, yes I could have been their grandmother!). Both Seb and Robert were so interesting to talk to, really articulate, fun and kind people and whilst of course, I'm sure they could have been with people more their own age, they were inclusive and didn't avoid mixing with people of all ages. Although this also can't be said of all young people I met, it was by far the overwhelming reaction and opened my eyes for sure.
Truly resilient people really do smile in the face of adversity. It may take a little while but they will genuinely make the best of the situation they find themselves in.
I was very fortunate that my trip pretty much panned out as I'd hoped for. In both Eastern Europe and South America I had a rough route which got changed as and when I felt like it and not because of someone else, nothing went dramatically wrong, I wasn't a victim of crime etc. etc. and yet I did meet people who weren't so fortunate. Virtually all of them had a moment of 'why me?' after it happened and yet all of them picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and went on to either make the best of the situation they now found themselves in or a way to improve what had become their lot. It was truly inspiring. For myself, following the multiple hits of bad news, for a while I felt like I'd been the opposite of resilient by bringing my flight home forward by just under a couple of weeks, but ultimately I changed the situation I was in into one that suited me better and made sure that the remaining time I had away I lived to the full. I don't regret coming home early for a second and had an amazing time from the point I changed my flight to the moment I landed on UK soil and so I'm claiming resilience for myself too!
Sometimes it's ok to just say 'I've had enough' and give in for a while, providing it has a time limit.
This is linked in a way to the previous one as keeping going can be exhausting! In hostels it's a common joke that there are the standard travelling questions that you always have to ask (Where are you from? How long is your trip? Where were you before here? Where do you go after here? etc. etc. you get the idea) and it can become quite tiring. Of course, it's also a great basic conversation starter than can actually lead you off into discussions you'd never expect. Similarly, packing up your stuff every few days and figuring out yet another different bus system can sometimes stop being fun and exciting and become a chore. And so when it feels like this, it is OK to crawl into your shell and avoid conversation, or stay for an extra few days somewhere to recharge your batteries. Just make sure you give yourself an internal deadline because if you're like me, it can be easy to stay in your shell and that's not why you're there.
Think of the impact you could be having on others before you complain about their impact on you.
Regular noises irritate the hell out of me, you know, like dripping taps, people tapping their fingers etc. etc. I'm terrible for getting on at my Dad who regularly rattles his change in his pocket! Major irritation for me. But whilst I was in Romania I learnt a very pertinent lesson. I'd been getting frustrated with a guy who was also messing around with coins on the table that I'd been sitting at and had forced myself to stay there and try to overcome this reaction that I have in this type of situation. As I was having this internal dialogue in my head both getting annoyed and calming myself down, the guy sat next to me asked me if I needed a tissue. Whilst I'd been focused on how irritating someone had been to me, I hadn't realised I'd been sniffing and annoying someone else. That one definitely pulled me up short!
Whilst solitude has its place, experiences are often improved by sharing them with other people.
On my trip around the world I met many amazing people who I would have meals with in the hostel, go for drinks with etc. but on the whole, during the day, I would do my exploring on my own (this doesn't of course apply to the organised tours I did through Africa etc.). I loved it, it was great to have experiences to share in conversation in the evenings but I really did enjoy having the days to myself. That has been completely different for these last few months. I've spent much more time with people. doing hikes, going for walks, visiting museums, etc. and not just spending evenings with people. Spending time with people and getting to know them has really been the highlight of the trip and I remember places now for the people I shared them with rather than what I saw when I was there.
I may not be as much of a city girl as I thought I was.
I grew up in a village that is surround by fields but since I was 18 I've pretty much only lived in cities. I have nice shoes, and it's often a source of amusement when visiting friends that I never own the right gear for the outdoor activities that they plan. I love the hustle ad bustle and opportunities that city life has to offer, but that has really changed on this trip. I enjoyed being in the outdoors so much and when I went to cities, I soon found myself yearning to be back in nature. It was a surprise. So now with my return to London in a few short weeks, I've found myself a flat near a nature reserve and park. It's the best I could do and puts me on a direct tube line to a station that can whisk me away to the countryside!! Hopefully I'll now be able to have the best of both worlds!
Whilst it undoubtedly helps, sharing a common language is not necessary to have a meaningful connection with another person.
My Spanish really didn't get to be great whilst I was away and as from Ushuaia onwards the number of English speaking travellers really did decline, I found it was still possible to make meaningful connections with people despite the lack of conversation. I pushed myself to speak as much as I could with my limited Spanish and it was in Puerto Madryn, where I met Fernanda and we became friends despite not being able to have the most in-depth conversations this was most obvious. Whilst we'd have no doubt learnt far more about each other had we been able to chat, the fact that we couldn't didn't diminish the mutual fondness we developed as we spent time together sharing meals and going together to Peninsula Valdes.
Say yes. Even when you want to say no, say yes. Embrace the possibilities.
This is one that I didn't always manage. Sometimes, be it because of lack of confidence or fear, I said no, when I should have said yes. Who knows what I missed out on as a result. I don't regret it, but I do sometimes wonder what could have been given a little more courage and based on what I experienced when I did say yes.
My body is amazing.
People are so often criticised (be it by themselves or others) for what their bodies look like and so rarely praised for what their bodies achieve. Since I turned 40, I've had bouts of considerable ill health and yet for 8 of the last 11 months, my body has regularly carried two rucksacks, one 16-18kgs on its back and the other 6-7kgs on its front, it's done long walks sometimes through steep and rugged terrain, it's slept on often terrible mattresses and then gone on the next day to be pushed to sit on buses for long stretches. Thank you body. In future, I will try to stop being critical of your appearance (which is down to me to change) and try to be thankful for all that you allow me to do.
You'll never see it all. Experience what you can and if you see others did different things, enjoy their pictures and add the places to the list for next time you're there (even though you may never go again!) rather than feel sad you missed them yourself
My aim for this trip had been to move slowly and really experience all that the countries I was visiting had to offer. However, as I chatted with people and saw their pictures and it became difficult for me to stick with this intention. I really wanted to add Bolivia into my explorations after seeing the remarkable pictures people posted from there but I could never have done it justice. At times, it took real strength of will to make myself enjoy the places I was in and stop wishing to be somewhere else. I'm so glad that I did this though. Whenever you travel, the list of places to see always grows from hearing of others' adventures and hopefully there will be time for me to see many of them in the future.
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